Following the referendum on Scottish independence two documents have been unearthed by steely-eyed coppers, mercurial in temperament, brimful of irony, and quick to seize a golden opportunity before retiring on their platinum-plated pensions.
The first is a memorandum to the inner circles of the English Defence League, written by a part-time lawyer, which comments on the advisability of suing the BBC for excessive use of the word ‘English’ in the past few weeks. Its conclusion is that an action in the Civil Court for trademark infringement might be the best course, and helpfully defines ‘civil’, acknowledging that EDL members will probably not be familiar with the term.
The second is the first page of a set of minutes from a meeting between the High Command of the Lib Dems, Tories, Labour and UKIP. It outlines a scheme to revive the Anglo-Saxon Heptarchy and make the regions of Wessex, Mercia, Northumbria, East Anglia, Sussex, Kent and Essex self-governing. The steely-eyed etc coppers are still looking for the rest of the minutes to try to establish the likely fate of Wales and Northern Ireland, and the nature of the reprisals planned for Scotland.
Poetae Ephemeris 